Sleepy Haid

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It’s been over two years since I posted. i guess it is about time I started trying to get  back to it.

I’ve been posting on Google+, mostly.

I am no longer working, spending all my time looking after my Mom full-time. Earlier this year I was still doing a bit of very, very part time working for my old company but the contract ended and I just decided that unless they offer me something I won’t make much of an effort to get work. The necessity of working from home and being unable to schedule my day, due to my Mom’s needs.

I’ve been spending a lot of time fiddling with my iPhone and iPad and related apps. The above photos were some of the results.

New stuff, in brief

Okay, I will post an update in as few words as possible…

Deer ran into my car.

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Got a new car. Barcelona Red Metallic Toyota Corolla, 2012…

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Quit my job to look after my mother full time.

Managed to post without deleting the fucking thing.

Mom back home

Mom is back home and feeling good. Nothing directly related to her heart. Basically, she fainted.

Of course, Mom can’t just “faint” she has to draw a crowd. I told her last night that if it weren’t for these moments of excitement, I would have to take up chainsaw juggling to fill the void. We always joke that the only reason she does it is so that I will meet men in uniforms, but I am beginning to think it is SHE who wants to meet men in uniforms.

She is fine and watching TV.

An evening out

Tonight my friends were playing at a local bistro. Since the show starts early and ends early and it is close to home, it is great for Mom — and Mom Loves the band!. Since her birthday is next week, it was a good time to have some cake. My friend Krys made her wonderful Guinness cake.

Mom had a wonderful time.

Just a few minutes after this photo was taken (with the cake-baking Krys), we were leaving and she passed out in the middle of the floor. We called paramedics because although she sort of rallied a bit, she wasn’t really “with it”. While the paramedics were there, she passed out again and was sick. Her heart rate was really slow and her blood pressure low. So she had to go in to emergency. They’ve decided to keep her in for observation over night. They said that everything seems fine but they just want to make sure.

In looking at the photo, I can tell that she’s not really looking as perky as usual. I put it down to her being tired. I should have gotten her home when she first said she was tired. Oh well. Hind sight is 20-20…

PS… New(ish) blog

I sort of let this other blog slide a bit but with my mother’s diagnosis the 0ther day, I decided to revive it and move it over to WordPress.

It is called “Mother Forgets“.

It’s an outlet for some of the stuff that happens, much of it funny/frustrating when Mom forgets or gets a bit “clouded” in her logic.

PSS… I also pried the “: ;” key off my keyboard. I was sick of typing n;t instead of n’t.

Sunday morning.

I forgot to post this. I was up all night Saturday night and just didn’t feel like hauling my ass out of bed to make it to church on Sunday morning.

Sometime after noon, I heard Mom come in from outside. I thought perhaps she had gone across to the store or for a little walk.

A few minutes later she came up and peeked in. When she saw I was awake she said that she had shown a couple of people her leg (where she scraped her skin off falling off a chair) and grossed them out. I assumed she meant some people in the co-op. “No!” she said “Maggie, for one.”….

Maggie? The only Maggie we know is at church. “How did you see Maggie to show her your leg?”

“When I went to church!”

It transpires that she took the bus right across town (about a 45 minute to an hour  ride with several transfers) and then walked 5 or six blocks from the bus station near the highway to the school where our Fellowship meets! Apparently, people at church gave her heck fro not calling someone to give her a ride. Luckily, it was not the Sunday when the Fellowship was meeting at a place we are thinking of moving to or she’d have had to turn around and come home.

I was both pleased and upset. Pleased because her not just feeling like trekking across town but actually DOING so means that she is feeling a LOT better. Upset because we are still trying to monitor her to make sure she doesn’t have one of her “turns”. However, she didn’t and she managed to walk all that distance without her hip hurting. Of course, she also forgot to take her cane so that if she HAD had problems, she wouldn’t have had it to help her.

Maggie drove her home.

Sighhh….

YAY!

Today, we went to the clinic to have my Mom’s leg looked at (infection is less and the doctor said it is looking good!). She had fallen when getting down from a chair that she had climbed on to close the curtains and scraped the front of her leg so badly I had to take her to the hospital…

While AT the clinic, we were on our way out when she said that she was “feeling a bit dizzy”. She was very pale, so I sat her down and went back into the office and alerted Dr. J and nurse/receptionist. We whisked her back into the examining room and got her lying down and Dr. J (who I DO like this doctor!) was able to test her BP, blood sugar, and listen to her heart WHILE she was actually having one of her turns. This is the first time in 4 years (at least) of these events that a medical professional has been able to see exactly what is happening AT the time she is having one of her “turns”.

Her blood pressure was 84/45 (up very minimally from 80/45 on Wednesday) just before her “turn” and up a few points again, after.

His opinion is what I have felt for a long time, that it is her blood pressure being way too low. Earlier in the week, her family doctor and the cardiologist removed 2 of 4 blood pressure medications. This doctor has told her to stop ALL her bp meds for the next few days.

She sees Dr. S tomorrow for her flu shot, so we may have a bit if a chat about this, at the same time.

Hopefully, THIS will give us a better idea about what is going on.

On another note, a friend informed me this evening my cousin in Iowa has a recurrence of his Protstate cancer and that it has spread to the bone in his leg (I didn’t know he had had a first bout of it). He was on the way to the clinic for a treatment when his leg simply “broke”. He now has pins in it and is walking with a cane.

However, I am thinking of my neighbour who died a few weeks ago. She had bone cancer and she fell and broke her leg, and cancer cells were released into her body.

My cousin is a lovely person and one of the few cousins of his generation left.  My cousin, Ina and her brother, Allen, died a year apart from each other, both suddenly. She died of a congenital heart defect that runs in our family and he died of complications from diabetes.

This cousin has been so wonderful about sharing our family history with me. He is handsome (I call him a “gentleman cowboy”, of sorts). He’s handsome and charming and one of the nicest people I know. He is also yet another person with cancer that I know and/or is related to me.

He and I have been emailing back and forth recently about some family history and he said nothing.

Finally (maybe)…

After a couple of years, they THINK maybe they have gotten to the bottom of Mom’s fainting spells.

In the last while, she has had various monitoring devices attached to the which have annoyed and discombobulated her but which seemed not to have shown the “experts” anything unusual. In fact, the one I had the highest hopes for did not catch the one episode she had while wearing it and 5 minutes after handing it in, she had another one.

Last week, she was put on a blood pressure monitor which she was to wear for 24 hours (which OHIP doesn’t cover and for which we had to pay $100 out-of-pocket).

We were called in to the doctor’s office yesterday and it seems that aside from the first hour when Mom’s blood pressure was elevated slightly, it showed that her blood pressure was “way too low”.  After discussing it with her cardiologist, they removed two of her blood-pressure medications.

Hopefully, this will have an effect on her and she may feel better and have a bit more energy.

Poor thing has been lolling about with no desire or energy to do anything except drag herself to the kitchen or up the stairs to the bathroom. I have been afraid to take her anywhere because every time I do, she has a “turn”.

I certainly don’t like the idea of going to the theatre or anywhere when I’m not with her. If she had one at the theatre, getting her down to the floor and getting her water would be impossible and if she were out with anyone else, they wouldn’t know what to do and would likely call an ambulance, not to mention that unless you get her on the floor with her feet on a chair, she actually goes out and throws up which is awful for her.

With the exception of the time at the restaurant where I was so worried about upsetting the other diners and ended up upsetting them, anyway, when she passed out and was sick and the paramedics came, I have always managed to get her to come round without her actually going completely out or getting sick. It is so upsetting for her to have to go to the hospital and, really, completely pointless because she is completely normal by the time she gets there and they can’t figure out what happened, anyway. And then she comes home sick and disoriented and not quite herself for several days.

If I act quickly and get her feet elevated and some water into her, she comes round and is right as rain almost immediately and never suffers from the “wobblies” for days and weeks after the way she does if she actually gets sick and passes out. If she actually goes out and is sick, I do call an ambulance.

It is just too upsetting for her and I refuse to put her through it if there is no benefit.

On another note,

I will remember this whenever my mother asks me the same question for the 100th time…This a Greek short film made in 2007

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “What is that? 2007“, posted with vodpod

Sighhh….

Yesterday, Mom had another “turn”…

I had to take my niece to get her glasses and made a short stop at work to drop off some stuff at work. While I was in the building, Mom apparently started feeling woozy and when I came out, she was just on the edge of passing out. I managed to get her feet up on the dash so the blood could get to her head.

However, as she was wearing her monitor, it SHOULD have picked up… finally… the one baffling,  recurring problem that arises. Of course, it didn’t. My niece didn’t know to push the button for a manual activation and when I came out, I was too preoccupied in making sure she didn’t pass out to press the button. It wasn’t until she was almost feeling back to normal that I remembered. I pressed the button, but not hard enough to activate it and when I realized it wasn’t recording, I did it again but by then we were already driving and I think the bumps in the road were messing up the reading.

It is so frustrating and tiring to have to be so discombobulated all the time… I am making headway in getting certain things organized and under control and I know that I will eventually be able to have things work smoothly but it is a learning process.

The last weeks have shown a fairly significant memory change in Mom. But also a sense of compliance on her part to my taking away her medications and insisting on helping her with her showering. This is good for me but something I would have had to fight with her over a few months ago.

At least, I have the advantage of being able to work at home and to be able to time-shift my day to accommodate the little hiccups in my days. It also means that I don’t have to leave her at home alone and to her own devices.

It does mean, though, that I will have to start looking for outside help… some community resources to help out, probably sooner rather than later.

I worry, though, because of my own propensity to depression and anxiety. I did manage to weather the August doldrums better than I have in the past but I can never really let my guard down. I also find my mind inevitably turning to “what happens when…” either when things get to the point when I can’t manage or when… she’s gone… I know it’s stupid to worry about these things until they happen but that’s me. I worry. That’s my job in life.

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