Lost…

This evening, I had a very disconcerting… frightening experience. I got lost.

It wasn’t that I was actually “lost”. I was on my way to a friend’s house in the country which I have gone to about this time, three years in a row, now. Each time I manage to get on the wrong road. I am sure I know how to get there and somehow get turned around. So, tonight, I planned out my route, wrote the instructions down and started on the way. I was watching for my turn and thought I had missed it so I made a turn which should have gotten me to another road to get onto the road I needed. Finally, I found the road I was looking for and started down it. Suddenly it became a dirt road so I turned back, found someone and asked if it was “still #7”. No, they told me, that’s a long distance off. I swear I was ON #7. Anyway, he gave me instructions to where I was supposed to be headed and I set off again and I found myself back on track and knew the road I was looking for was not much further on. I stopped to get gas and bought a road atlas and headed off again. I knew from looking at the map that I should turn left just up the road. I turned left and the road was just not the road it should be so I took out the map, again… and for some reason, I couldn’t look at where I was and make sense of the map.

It sounds silly, but I have been up and down all the roads in the area may, many times. I have been to the house several other times and I just couldn’t think where I was. I couldn’t figure out what direction I was pointed. I knew I wasn’t “lost”… I just couldn’t figure out in my head where I was. It is sort of like starting to fall down stairs and not be able to stop yourself because your foot keeps missing the step. Like I had a blank spot in my brain. I started to panic. Finally, I found the road I was looking for and then the house. I was pretty shaken and, I know this sounds silly, but I started to cry.

I don’t know if it’s because I have been having trouble sleeping and I am just really tired or what. The one thing that I kept thinking about was that this must be like for someone who has memory problems… and then I started wondering if I have problems or am starting to have problems. I am prepared to think it was a one-off. Still. It was really upsetting.

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