Fuck!!!!!!!

I just spent half an hour writing a post on this fucking laptop and accidentally hit a key (I have no idea what the “magic” key IS) and lost the entire fucking post. AND WordPress didn’t save the damn draft! No wonder I haven’t been posting in months. My PC is fucked and I haven’t been able to get anything loaded on my new PC and I HATE laptop keys. I keep hitting SOMETHING that causes me to go back a page when I don’t want to (why I lost the post earlier) or a key that pops me back up a line or two and I end up typing over what I typed before. In fact, I hate using laptops altogether. HATE!

I have been using my iPhone for everything and just don’t want to bother with the frustration of posting.

A lot has been going on and I really have wanted to share it but I am not even going to bother.

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The End is Nigh! ….. Or not…

Just about once every 10 years or so, some Christian nincompoop comes up with “absolutely irrefutable evidence” that the world is coming to an end. Regular as clockwork.

Here is a list of just a few of these “predictions“, including the regular-as-clockwork predictions of The Watchtower Society (AKA Jehovah’s Witnesses) for 1914, 1915, 1918, 1920, 1925, 1941, 1975 and 1994…

The Watchtower finally “admitted” it was wrong…  in 1980. For more information on Armageddon through the eyes of the Watchtower Society, see here. And from a former JW, an excellent 3-part series on the failed 1975 Armageddon, the mindset, and the propaganda.

Christians as well as other people to have too few brain-cells and far too much time on their hands invariably start moaning about how “all the calamities, wars, natural disasters, and other “signs” point to the “coming Rapture””… as though calamities, wars, and natural disasters haven’t been happening with just as much frequency and power since the planet first saw the light of day and then Mankind.

Just because we’ve been HEARING more about disasters and wars and calamities doesn’t make them greater in number or in impact than ever.  Anyone with two brain-cells to rub together would have figured out that the advent of faster methods of spreading news and the ability for someone sitting in their living room to find out the SECOND something has happened on the other side of the planet means we HEAR about more events and in more detail and, now, witness them ourselves. The fact that CNN and other news organizations can suddenly turn the tipping over of a kayak in Lake Ontario into a “world event” subject us to hours and days, and often WEEKS of “newsworthiness” make us think that things are more earth-shattering than they actually are.

As well, given the size of the human population, more and more humans are more closely affected than in the past centuries.

The most recent of these “predictions” is that “the world is coming to an end on May 21, 2011“.

As usual, May 21 will come and go without the sky falling, everyone will forget it ever didn’t happen. The perpetrators of these stupid “predictions” will either say “they saved us all” or that there was an error in calculations and move the date up.

The fact is…. The world will probably come to an end sometime in the far, far distant future – far too far ahead for any human to concern themselves with, likely after we humans cease to exist . It won’t have been predicted in the Bible. Prayer or converting to whatever religion is in existence at the time won’t matter.  It will happen, but not because of an “angry god” or because Nostradamus or the Mayans predicted it. It will happen because it does.

In the meantime, while all those idiots are running wild in the streets crying that the sky is falling, we can get about the business about making this planet, which will go on for a very, very long time, a better place.

Have fun!

Why can’t we all just get along?

Currently, in our co-op, we have been enduring a situation which is aggravating, frustrating, and downright stupid. Ironically, it involves someone who I was very much in support of when they first moved into the co-op for reasons I now won’t go into, both because it I can’t because of my position and because I feel completely differently than I did exactly a year ago.

The thing is that if this person had just settled in and made any attempt to get along with others, they would have found a welcoming home. Instead, they have spent every spare minute finding something to get into a fight over. Not just petty little arguments but huge, community-wide disruptions. What few friends they made, they have alienated, either because they insisted in trying to enlist them in whatever manufactured dispute they had started. Whether imagined “threats to personal safety” by someone they had met once but “gotten bad vibes” from t0 “getting even” with someone they perceived as having stood in their way of whatever vendetta they have on the go next.

The sad thing is that they have a child who would find wonderful friends and have many happy years in a great community if the parent could only have taken the time to get along.

It is just plain sad.

SIGH!

I keep thinking… “Well, can it get worse?” or “Can we get through the next few days without more farce?” Apparently not.

Bang head here….

So…. yesterday, a technician (Jergen) turned up to fix my internet which was suddenly not working…. Not only did he fix it, he added a dedicated line directly to my computer and one for my office phone which significantly speeds up my internet service but also means that I don’t have to add DSL line filters to all of my phones, TV, etc. I was very pleased. Not only was he very good, he was very personable but very fast and very nice. Internet is working fine…. Apparently, the reason the internet service was interrupted was because when the initial guy came last week and hooked up my FIBE service (fibre-optic) he hooked the fibre service to the copper line and when someone came out to unhook the copper service, they simply unhooked it thinking I was hooked to the fibre-optic line… I wasn’t.

Later in the day, I went to make a phone call. My office phone isn’t working. Since the other phones in the house are working, I reasoned that the new jack was the problem. Apparently, there is a problem in connecting my phone to the jack. Jergen did a great job in not only reconnecting me but also in ensuring my internet service would be faster and more reliable…. But, since he’s an internet tech, he made a tiny mistake and didn’t make sure the phone line was working. I called Bell, again, and made an appointment for this morning for a technician to come and fix the jack. During the afternoon, I was out with my niece and Mom took a call from Bell. Since she has Alzheimer’s she couldn’t recall what they said, just that they had called. This morning the technician didn’t show up.

I called Bell and was told that someone down at Bell had “checked my line and seen it was working” so they cancelled the call….

So…. I had to make ANOTHER appointment for tomorrow for a technician to come in and fix the office phone. I am afraid to go out in case they try the line again and find “it’s working” so cancel the call a second time.

This after stating to numerous people that Bell has always been great in ensuring fast and reliable service. I know this is a frustrating hiccup but just a hiccup.

ARGGGGHHHH!!!

After going on about how great and how fast my new internet service is, Friday it went down and I lost a day’s work, which is HIGHLY problematic for me… Not only can I not just go into the office because I can’t leave Mom all day but because being on contact, my call-up requires that I be able to work a certain number of hours. It is the end of the fiscal year, I have a new call-up in the offing, need to get my contracts signed and sent in (which I need the internet to facilitate) AND need to justify my existence before the end of one call-up and the beginning of the next. They can’t figure out what the problem is but it isn’t the new modem (I hooked up the old one and the same problem exists). It isn’t the DSL cords because I have used 15 different DSL cords in a variety of different configurations in different phone outlets (which also negates it being a particular plug). And the technicians say that no other complaints in the are have been reported on my block… I was told by a number of the call-centre people that any cord will do and by the last guy that I HAD to use a short cord….

They are coming tomorrow morning to see what the issue is.

Meanwhile, apart from the work issues, I feel completely out of touch and can’t upload my images, cant check my email, and can’t even play the games I am used to killing time with. It’s like being unable to get into your bathroom and you keep forgetting and keep trying to open the door….

I am currently as my sister’s posting this.

Charlie Sheen…

If you go to the town square, stick your head into the guillotine, pull the rope and chop your head off, it isn’t the fault of the crowd that gathered to watch you do it….

Complicated

I am so tired of life being so damn complicated. So many little (or big, depending on your point of view) things converging. In the last few month, I’ve been feeling pretty good. Not having to rely on anti-anxiety meds. Feeling pretty good about even the possibility of not being employed for the foreseeable future, feeling a little excited about getting back into the artistic side of things…. even feeling good about Mom’s health.

Then a big hiccup… and then another little hiccup, then another… and while the odd hiccup might be fine and “bearable” when I get stressed about something, usually something I feel I don’t have too much control over, I fall back on the old patterns of worry… usually about things that “might” happen… “what ifs”… feeling like it’s my responsibility to deal with other peoples’ issues… wanting to do the best job I can but being unable to because of either someone else’s “issues” or because I am so bogged down in my own angst to be able to rationally deal with what I can and let the chips fall where they may where the problems aren’t really mine. Or knowing that the best I can do just won’t ever be enough.

The problem is that, even when I know that I’ve done my part, I don’t like feeling like people are judging me when someone points at me for THEIR failures. And, of course, when I am sitting around waiting for the other shoe to drop when there might not be a shoe ready TO drop.

In this case, there was the Board stuff and then the crappy General Meeting where if fell to me to stand up to ‘splain “our side” of what went wrong, the responsibility of deciding whether I was going to go back on the Board, at least for an interim period, whether the Board was going to include one of the people I had had a disagreement with (it does), and whether I would let down some people who have a great deal of faith in me (I didn’t). Then, when it became apparent that I would have to work with the person who I had a disagreement with… what was I going to do? I did what I had to do. I went over and talked to her and we buried the hatchet… or at least it appears that way. We shall see what happens. But, of course, I feel a great deal of anxiety over what the next few months will hold. At least I feel confident that things will be different this time around. This time, there are two men on the Board, one I KNOW won’t brook and crap (and was on the Board with me previous to this last term) and the other who I have heard has a fairly strong personality and probably won’t take any crap. There is another woman who I know is pretty strong-minded and I am hopeful that things will be very different.

Then, the other day, a family member, 13 years old, ran away from home after being charged with truancy. She was finally brought home by the police but she’s troubled, and with good reason. She was molested when she was little, by a family member and despite the law being there to “protect her”, the police failed her, the Courts failed her, the Victim assistance office of the Court failed her, the CAS failed her and she is a wounded child in need of healing. I am angry because I did what I could to try and get her justice. Her family tried (they were forbidden by CAS and the Crown from being in the courtroom… CAS threatening that if her parents went into the courtroom, they would take the children away). The ONLY reason I was able to make a victim impact statement on behalf of the family was because the DEFENDANT’S lawyer insisted that my statement needed to be part of the record. Even so, I wasn’t allowed to READ it. It was given to the judge during his deliberations.

If I am angry and heartbroken, you can imagine how her step-father feels. He tried to protect her and feels he let her down, even though he was the one who caught the perpetrator in the act of molesting her and, instead of killing him like he could have, he called the police believing they would protect her and justice would take its course. It hurts to feel so helpless.

And the pain that he feels won’t ever go away. Neither will her pain, or her mother’s pain… or my pain… I know. I work every day with the legacy of physical, mental and sexual abuse. from the Indian Residential Schools. I know that people carry this pain for the rest of their lives and while redress and apology helps, it doesn’t make all the pain go away…. ever. And we can’t heal her. We can only give her the support she needs and hope that she will accept that support… and hope that it isn’t too little… to late.

This is rambling. I know. It’s just how things are, at the moment.

One day at a time… one day at a time.

The one thing I can say, though, is that I have had some kind words and support, when it has counted, from some dear friends. They know who they are… and I love them dearly… If only I could give back half as much as they have given me.

Muppet Nudity

This week, Sesame Street was bombarded with complaints about the attire of Katy Perry in a video with Elmo. The complaints centred around the décolletage of Perry’s skating costume (which had a skin-coloured section above the bodice).

Katy Perry and Elmo

Now. On the one hand, Sesame Street PTB (Powers That Be) MIGHT have foreseen this and perhaps warded off controversy by suggesting a slightly less revealing costume for Perry.

On the other hand, are the children watching Sesame Street going to even NOTICE her cleavage?

After all. 99% of the Muppet characters throughout the years have either not worn clothing or given a nod to clothing in the form of a tie and collar (and cuffs, in the case of Grover, the Waiter). That would be 99% of the MALE characters. Female characters are almost always clothed. The notable exception being Rosita. Of course, we have to also take into account that female Muppet characters on Sesame Street are vastly outnumbered by the male ones.

Personally, I am in favour of demanding that Sesame Street put clothing on all their Muppet characters. What sort of message is it to children that you can run around your neighbourhood stark naked?*

Male characters… Nudists

Elmo

Kermit

Telly

Oscar the Grouch

Baby Bear

Grover

Snuffleupagus

Big Bird

(Big Bird used to wear a tie… Now, he’s nekkid as a jaybird).

Male characters with a nod to clothing…

Ernie and Bert

Super Grover (aka Grover)

Male characters clothed…

Count (The Count) von Count

Female characters, naked…

Rosita

Female characters, clothed…

Zoe Monster & Abby Cadabby

* Before everyone goes off half-cocked and starts bombarding me with nasty comments… I do not seriously believe that Sesame Street should clothe the Muppet characters. This is simply to point out the stupidity of some people’s concepts of what is “appropriate” or “inappropriate” for youngsters to be exposed to. I would wager that many of the complaints come from parents who watch “Toddlers and Tiaras” and think that there’s nothing wrong with making 5 year-olds up to look like Las Vegas hookers and give them prizes for bumping and grinding to hoochie-coochie music.

And another thing…

This is a repost of something I posted some time ago which for some reason jumped up to the top of my postings when I corrected a typo.

It always kills me when someone comes up and says tome how “When I am feeling down…” and then tells me that their “cure” for depression is to smile. or stand up straight, or hang a spoon on their nose. “I feel better right away!”

Well, lucky you….

They have always read a study or a book or watched something on TV about how some New Age crackpot has “cured” their “depression” simply by smiling.

The fact is that actual scientific research shows that none of these supposed “cures” for depression does anything for clinical depression. And I can assure you that if smiling like a maniac all day every day cured chronic depression, I’d have been smiling until my face fell off for Lo, these 50-odd years. If forcing your back into an upright posture did anything but make you stand up straight, I’d have been doing that for years, too.

Fact. If your “depression” is cured by smiling like an idiot, you aren’t depressed.

Waking up on the wrong side of bed or feeling sad isn’t depression.

Spending every waking moment for weeks on end feeling like slitting your wrists is depression.

Spending every day for weeks on end praying for a bus to run you down is depression.

Being unable to get out of bed but being unable to sleep while in your bed is depression.

Spending every waking moment for weeks on end with a feeling of dread and panic is being depressed.

Being unable to articulate your fears….

Contemplating suicide

Being afraid to talk openly about how you feel because the only response you get is  “Get some fresh air! That’ll make you feel better!”

“Meet new people! That’ll wipe those cobwebs away!”

“Try a new hobby! That always makes me feel better!”

“Smile, things can’t be all that bad!”

Don’t tell me that smiling, getting a hobby, wearing bright colours, buying myself a new pair of shoes, or listening to dripping water is going to “blow those blues away”.

Don’t tell me that the pills I am on are doing me more harm than good “because the pharmaceutical companies have people convinced that they are depressed”. I am on medication because it has saved my life.

Don’t ask me how I feel and then get all uncomfortable when I tell you “I am feeling down”.

If you want to really help me when I am depressed, give me a hug. Tell me that you’re sorry to hear that I’m depressed. Talk to me.

Sad day…

We got an email from our office, today.

The husband of one of my co-workers was killed when the small plane he was flying in crashed near James Bay.

Family and friends of a popular Gatineau high school teacher are grieving after the west Quebec man was killed in a weekend plane crash in northern Quebec.

Michael Robinson, who taught at Philemon Wright High School in Gatineau, was one of two people killed when a float plane went down, crashing into a swamp near James Bay. CTV

However….

The survival of the three injured passengers is credited to the quick arrival and actions of Air Inuit employee Jonathan Perrier, who kept them from drowning until first responders arrived on the scene. Nunatsiaq Online

My friend and her husband have a young son.

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