Get off my porch!…

On the door of my old house, I was forced to put up the following sign.

NO DOOR-TO-DOOR!

NO UTILITY SALES OF ANY KIND!

BEFORE YOU RING MY BELL, PLEASE READ.

NEIGHBOURHOOD KIDS DOING FUNDRAISING OR COLLECTING FOR EVENTS ARE WELCOME!

OTHERWISE…. IF:

– YOU ARE SELLING ANYTHING (INCLUDING GOD)

– YOU EXPECT ME TO GIVE YOU, OR ANOTHER AGENT FOR YOUR COMPANY, MONEY AT ANY POINT DURING OR AFTER OUR CONVERSATION

– YOU WANT ME TO SIGN ANYTHING THAT WILL, NOW OR AT ANY TIME, REQUIRE ME TO GIVE, SEND, OR DONATE MONEY

– YOU REPRESENT A COMPANY WHICH WISHES TO SIGN ME UP FOR A PRODUCT, SERVICE, OR UTILITY, WHICH YOU OR AN AGENT OF THE COMPANY WILL EXPECT ME, NOW OR AT ANY TIME, TO GIVE, SEND, OR DONATE MONEY

GET OFF MY PORCH!

THANK YOU

REPRESENTATIVES FROM:

– DIRECT ENERGY ESSENTIAL HOME SERVICES

– ONTARIO ENERGY SAVINGS CORP.

– OR ANY OTHER UTILITY COMPANY

WILL BE SERVED WITH A RESTRAINING ORDER

Within a day of having moved in I knew I was going to have to put up the same sign on the door of the new house. I was having trouble finding a copy if the wording I had used before. However, I finally located it on a posting on the H2G2 site I posted on before (I am again but it has been a few years).

So the sign is going up tomorrow if I can find my printing materials. I am going to print it up on a magnetic sheet.

This morning I was awakened at 9:30 am by proselytizers ringing my bell. As I have been having problems sleeping and had taken a sleeping pill the night before, I was too groggy to go down and get it and yelled to my Mom to answer….

Mom is too polite to tell them to get lost and stood there talking to them. Meanwhile, Benjamin was making his way down stairs and I knew he was going to try and get out the door. Sure enough… he got out. I came roaring down swearing and blasphemed in a way I hope they would take note and had to run out in my nightgown (sans culottes!) and catch him. NEEDLESS to say, the busybody mother of my neighbour and isn’t even a member of the co-op but has been making a point of butting into everyone who IS a member’s business just “happened” to be standing in the walkway behind my house. I was just waiting for her to make some comment (because she has been complaining to everyone but me about Benjamin being out prowling). I was hoping she would because I am just ready to tear her a new one.

Regarding the mother of my neighbour, apparently, the busybody is actually living in her daughter’s house and the daughter, who has lived here for many years, knows the rules and has been more than happy to report other people who have had guests staying longer than they should. Odd that she should be bitching about other people not abiding by the rules, all the while breaking them herself…

I discovered this evening that there have been a number of other members who have borne the brunt of this woman’s (the mother’s) rude, nasty, and condescending remarks. She has ordered members to pick up or clean up their properties; to pick up things that they didn’t leave about; yelled at kids for playing “too loudly”, for drawing on the sidewalks with chalk, for walking on MY walkway, for playing on the lawns….

Both she and the daughter have gone into one of the member’s yards and cleaned the yard without asking and berated her for having a “messy yard”.

I mentioned before about how she took it upon herself to destroy the nest of the little red squirrel that was inside the utility box on MY property.

Since she doesn’t live here, nothing that happens in the co-op is any of her business. She doesn’t have any business interfering with anybody or anything on the property. Her daughter, even though she lives here, has no business entering anyone else’s property or commenting on their gardening skills or the condition of their yard.

I was just hoping that she would say something to me because I was going to tear her off a strip and tell her that if she bothers me one more time or butts into my business one more time I will call the police and serve her with a restraining order which will make it a little hard to visit her daughter…

Bitch.

Oh… and we are having a picnic weekend after next and non-members have to pay $2 if they want to eat. I was worried that someone would not realize that she doesn’t live here and let her eat for free (it is only $2 but dammit, the money is going to charity and… she’s a bitch). I volunteered for the administration table which hands out bracelets to members and ensures that visitors pay…. She is going to pay. That’s for DAMN sure!

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