Pap…

I finally found a family doctor (again…).

This one is part of a family medical centre. For a few years I have been forced to see whatever doctor is available in one of these huge medical centres where even if you have an appointment with  a certain doctor, you can wait hours. While I was seeing one particular doctor whenever I could, he wasn’t MY doctor and I was hesitant to sign on as his patient. Provincial health care rules mean that if you sign on with a particular doctor, that’s it. You are stuck for life unless they leave the practice and don’t take you with them.

My beloved family doctor retired back in 2000 and was unable to find me a doctor. I’ve been with a couple of others but they simply left the clinics they were in and the clinics didn’t seem to care what happened to their patients.

So this week, I had my first actual check-up since 2000.

I had a “check-up” a few years ago at one of the “megaloclinics”. My “appointment was for 9am and I arrived at 8:45. I didn’t get called until 2:15. My “check-up” consisted of height, weight, and an eye-test (which the “nurse” did, insisting that I tack off my glasses and look at the chart 15 feet away… Since I can barely see the palm of my hand front 3 inches away, this was pretty pointless… Since I had just had my eyes checked less than a week ago by an actual eye doctor, it was even more pointless). That was the sum total of my check-up.

THIS time, I got the full work-up, including a home colon-cancer test kit.

So, now for the Pap…

Women know the scoop. Butt at the end of the table and knees in your ears.

Doctor says “This may be a little uncomfortable, since it hasn’t been used in a while…”

I’m thinking to myself “Either she doesn’t do too many internal exams and is using a reusable speculum…”

“Ummm, you mean the speculum or my…”

“I meant your….”

I’d have doubled over if I didn’t think that might just hurt a lot….

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6 Comments

  1. Bella said,

    January 26, 2010 at 4:45 pm

    Ha ha ha- Brilliant! Wish my nurse had a sense of humour too…or slightly more practise! Last PAP she gave me I bled for three days and ended up on antibiotics! She seemed more nervous than me…Doesn’t exactly instil you with confidence so I think I would have preferred your doc! 🙂

  2. January 22, 2010 at 8:07 am

    Oh, how wonderfully sensitive of your doctor! Honestly, what is wrong with people? They really should have mandatory courses in acceptable bedside manner in medical school!

    • mudhooks said,

      January 22, 2010 at 8:09 am

      I thought it was hilarious….

      • January 22, 2010 at 8:13 am

        Well, I am so glad you did! I would have been ticked, though! I had a person the other night make light of my presumed lack of a sex life in front of a group of people and I was really annoyed about it because it was presumptuous of someone who doesn’t know me well enough to make an assumption (a correct one, but still!) like that!

        • mudhooks said,

          January 22, 2010 at 8:17 am

          I doubt she would have said it to someone else. Earlier she asked about “activity” and I said something along the lines of “chance would be a fine thing”.


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