You haven’t washed you hair in HOW long????

^ The smell of unwashed hair
= ^ The smell of blubber

I was sitting in the waiting room at my chiropractor’s office the other day, reading a magazine.

I can’t recall, now, whether it was McLean’s or Readers Digest. The article that I read was about the new fad of “not washing your hair”… Not “washing it less often” (a good thing) …. Not washing it AT ALL….. Not washing it in several YEARS… EVER!

According to the mantra of these people hair “self cleans“.

No…. It doesn’t. Unlike an oven, your head does not have a self clean setting. The oil remains and your hair just gets dirtier and dirtier.

You don’t see rabbits or monkeys shampooing their hair and their hair is soft and fluffy so I don’t have to shampoo, either”.

I can’t speak about monkeys but rabbits lick their fur (I had a rabbit so I am an authority on this point). Saliva has enzymes which cut through oils and grease, the same way shampoo does.

The Edwardians and Victorians didn’t have all the hair products we do and they prided themselves on their soft clean hair“.

If you have ever seen any early photographs, the vast majority of sitters had greasy, oily hair. Trust me…. Besides, when they washed it, they used soap, plain old soap made from fat and lye, to wash their hair. Ever heard of an Antimacassar“? The Anti-Maccassar was a doily-like item placed on chairs to prevent the staining of furniture by Macassar oil which our forbears worked generously into their hair to counter the drying effects of soap and/or to cover the smell of the normal oils from infrequent washing.

I wish the article had been accompanied by photos of the poor souls, including, supposedly, a “model” (male) who outrageously claimed “No one can tell”, just so I could judge for myself that their hair looked “okay”.

Trust me, either you hang about with blind people or they are lying through their teeth when they tell you with “incredulity” that they “hadn’t noticed”. As well. someone must do a study on the vast number of your friends who have no sense of smell when they claim “they can’t detect any smell” from your unwashed locks.

I’m judging that your friends suffer from the condition called “The Emperor’s New Hair” when they assure you that the fact that you don’t wash your hair is a complete surprise.

Sure, it is possible that they simply assume you have taken to “Greasy Kid Stuff” and that’s why your hair LOOKS the way it does. But short of covering up the smell with “Hai Karate”, your hair smells… and it smells BAD (Of course, it isn’t going to smell any better with the Hai Karate but at least it will smell more of bad cologne).

Trust me when I tell you that hair left unwashed whether a week or a year, unless one has been out camping by a wood fire, smells exactly like seal blubber. I have smelled seal blubber and it smells exactly like unwashed hair.

Fact… the oil that coats your hair is fat… blubber is fat… and it doesn’t smell like roses.

Here’s a hint. WASH YOUR HAIR!

You might also want to get some friends who will tell you the truth.

1 Comment

  1. Clare said,

    March 3, 2008 at 3:51 pm

    Cool thing I learned today: Anti-macassar. I had never heard of that and now I know where the name of one of the characters on the kids show “Big Comfy Couch” comes from. Loonette has an aunt named, wait for it, Aunty Macassar.

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