April 25, 2012 at 12:41 pm (Suicide)
Again I am wishing I just didn’t have to wake up.
Why can’t I just find myself in that place inside myself that most everybody is able to find themselves? Or why can’t I just let everything go? If it weren’t for Mom I just wouldn’t bother even trying.
Fact is. I just want to let go and finally find some peace.
March 26, 2012 at 5:28 pm (Life, Suicide)
The Laughing Heart
by Charles Bukowski
your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.
March 17, 2012 at 5:14 am (Car, Car trouble)
So… We were at the chiropractors and we came down, I put Mom in the car and went to put the wheelchair in the trunk. I put it in, closed the lid. I went to get my keys and discovered that they were most probably in the trunk. My spares were at home… To get in the house, I needed the house key which was in the trunk… You can’t get into the trunk by flipping the seat down. The only option was to call CAA, get a tow to my mechanic and hope he can get it unlocked. When I called him he told me it would be expensive and require a day to do. The option was to get it towed home, get a house locksmith in to pick the front door lock and get my spare… So I called CAA and changed the tow to my house. It would be 45 minutes for the tow truck.
So then, I decided to kill time by posting my dilemma on FB … I got as far as “This is the first time in ages that the car trunk has opened easily with the key… without… having… to … lift… the… floor… latch…”
Yep… I completely forgot the floor latch… D’oh..
March 13, 2012 at 1:22 am (Family, Work)
Well… There is a turn of events…
As I have mentioned, changes to the mandate for the government department meant that contact requirements had changed. I was being asked for the new contact to work exclusively on-site, for fewer hours, and pay for parking daily. Due to my family commitments I simply cannot work away from home. I turned it down. As of April 1, I was out of work and feeling fine with that.
Fifteen minutes ago, I got a call from the HR person for the company I work at. “Someone in high places has been putting a good word in for you!” they asked if I was able to work at home would I be inteKrested in a new contract…
I said yes on the spot. I still have to hear the terms but even if it means fewer hours per week, I am interested.
I was looking forward to being with Mom full-time but being able to put more money aside for the time when I really do have to stop working will be better than simply stopping now.
It’s weird, too, because I ran into someone who looked familiar. My grand-nephew is staying with her and her husband. Turns out that she works for the same department as I do in a slightly higher level. She told me that, rather than the Department’s mandate ending in March 2013, there is 7-9 years work left…. Hmmmm….
March 6, 2012 at 7:56 am (Unemployment, Work)
So… On Friday I got a call regarding the call-up for the next 6 months. It requires me to be on-site full time and is for not quite full-time hours. Plus I have to pay for parking which amounts to an extra $200 a month or spend around 2 hours on the bus, each way.
Since I absolutely cannot leave Mom all day, every day and given the above problems, I simply can’t do it. I turned it down. I’ve said that if a different call-up comes up, I’d be more than happy to take it.
The upshot, however, is that, as of April 1, After 10 years, I will be out of work. Of course, in December 2010, I was laid off but then got a new call-up starting in January 2011. It just staved off the inevitable because the department mandate runs out at the end of March 2013, anyway.
I am looking for work that I can do at home, looking at some creative projects that I can work on at home. I am also looking forward to spending more quality time with Mom while we can enjoy each others’ company. Having more free time will enable me to do a better job taking care of Mom.
C’est la vie….
February 23, 2012 at 8:52 am (Clothing, Shopping)
I bought a pair of El Naturalistas 2 years ago and was so thrilled with them that I went back a few days later to buy one in every colour… another woman had beat me to it and bought all the pairs in my size. I tried last Spring and they were sold out in my size, again. I went in in the fall and the owner of the store called the supplier… they had none and weren’t going to get more that year. He said “Try in February. that’s when the Spring shoes come in.”
I suddenly remembered and went in this afternoon. They were there!
I bought another pair of red, a burgundy, sand, and a canvas pair, white with printed flowers… I am thinking I should go back and get the mauve pair, too.
My feet are hard to fit. One size different from one to the other, and because I had the right foot stepped on by a work horse when I was a kid. Left is thin and turned in, right is wide and flat. The first pair I bought have lasted beautifully, just a bit scuffed. I now have enough to last a decade or more!
These shoes are the most comfortable shoes I have ever owned.
February 22, 2012 at 8:50 am (Car trouble, Idiots, Medicine)
My niece Jessica was in an accident on the weekend.
The van she was riding in rolled and flipped. She was thrown out the window, even though she was wearing her seatbelt. She was taken to Fort Frances Hospital, near Thunder Bay. She was released but both she and her partner were concerned that she was more seriously injured than the FF hospital and my sister drove them to Thunder Bay Health Services. Her step-father is a former nurse and has worked in the other hospital in town for years and felt that my niece was showing signs of brain trauma.
After expressing his concerns, she was sent for CAT scans and they found that she had three small bleeders in her brain, as well as a spine and knee injuries… her third in as many serious car accidents. They admitted her immediately. The bleeds are healing it seems and they want to ensure that she doesn’t have stroke or other side effects from the trauma.
As for how the accident happened…
The driver was driving 140km in a 100km zone…. while texting. My niece’s partner was also in the car and was okay.
“As we flipped something in my head told me to undo my seat belt and roll with the impact. A moment later when the roof hit the ground the ceiling went through where I was sitting to the floor. If I hadn’t of rolled with it, I would have fit in a small box. We then bounced 40 meters while flipping in the air and landed again on the roof and slid to a stop due to snow build up inside and along the sliding edge. Literally, my martial arts training saved my life.
The driver is in critical condition in the Fort Frances hospital.
February 17, 2012 at 9:31 am (Canada, Idiots)
Vic Toews, Canada’s Minister of Public Safety, had no idea what he was getting into when he sponsored legislation calling for government monitoring of the Internet.
In the interest in ensuring that Vic Toews is kept fully up to date, be sure to let him know what you are up to on the Internet. The following was my email.
Dear Vic,
Since you are so concerned about the activities of Canadians on the Internet, I thought I would fill you in.
I am currently updating my Facebook and my Google+ account.
I will be updating my blog shortly.
To assist you in keeping track of what we are all doing, I will be posting your email address. I know you will appreciate Canadians being proactive in ensuring that you have the latest information of our Internet activities.
Sincerely, Anneke Dubash
vic.toews@parl.gc.ca
January 21, 2012 at 10:40 am (Art, Painting)
The creative juices have really been running of late. The following are some new and ongoing pieces. The first photo is really bad but the colour is closer to the correct colour. Following are several details.
18×18 acrylic paint and metallic foil.
10×20 acrylic paint
8×8 acrylic
January 17, 2012 at 10:48 am (Art, Painting)
Two new paintings. These are ones I am keeping for myself. The first reminds me of one of my father’s copper enamels.
Both are 10 x 20 and the medium is acrylic.
Mother Forgets
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